how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im six kinds of drunk right now
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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