Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
