I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize