I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
