turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
