I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
A bitchslap is in order.
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