Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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