He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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