Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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