There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
