if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize