butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Barsexuality is the new black.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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