woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
