I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
