I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I love you. Go after that dick
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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