I think im going to throw up on grandma
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
