Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
