i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
