why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
