yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
