It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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