My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
