you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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