Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
