i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
