I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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