he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
