she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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