Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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