dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
