I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
