Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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