I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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