about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
