bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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