When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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