went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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