we have pet lesbian snakes
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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