i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
