if you like me you must not know who I am
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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