Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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