she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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