I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You may now shotgun with the bride
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