dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
