me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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