Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
