At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
