party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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