Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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