Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
