Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize