It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
