i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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