I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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