Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
