cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
