He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
