Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
